One thing that all children need is stability. Kids can feel that their lives are turned upside down during a divorce, so it's important that you create a stable, consistent environment whenever possible. Changes are inevitable during a divorce, but don't be so impulsive about those changes that kids won't know what to expect from one day to the next.
As your kids face the enormous transitions that come with the divorce, be a source of consistent comfort for them. Always show up on time and keep your promises. This is even more important if your ex is flighty or undependable. Show your kids that they can count on you in every way during the divorce.
Stop! Don't Make Choices Out of Spite
No matter how angry you are with your ex, it's important to make fair decisions when it comes to the children. If you need to stick it to your ex, do so in ways that don't involve your kids. Even if your little ones are unaware of the spiteful actions, it can still impact their lives and make the divorce even more difficult for them.
Although you may hate the sound of your ex's voice, pick up the phone to share news when something special happens with the children. When it comes to holidays and birthdays, try to make fair choices. That may involve some compromise and having a giving attitude towards someone who has hurt you a great deal.
Making fair decisions after a bitter or simply painful divorce can be a consistent challenge, but it's important to make a commitment to do. Kids are the winners when parents make fair parenting choices.
Stop! Don't Overshare with Your Children
When you're going through a divorce, it can be tempting to let it all hang out. What's more comforting than feeling that you can be yourself with every member of the family? However, as much as your kids may want the unvarnished truth, it can do more harm than good. It's important to carefully decide how much you share with your kids and when.
Decide how much you should share before you start a conversation with your kids. After all, children can be very inquisitive, and it may be tempting to overshare in response to thorough questions. If you decide how much information your kids should know beforehand, it's easier to censor stuff that may be hurtful when you're discussing the divorce with your children.
Finally, keep in mind that it's possible to amicably co-parent with your ex even if you couldn't co-exist peacefully within the marriage. The freedom and changes that a divorce brings can even help strengthen your relationship with your ex as you both look for the best ways to co-parent your children. If you are considering a divorce or need help with custody matters, contact Ronald M. Bahrie , a caring family law attorney who will stand up for your rights.